Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
“They dared me to” is ALWAYS a valid excuse.
Groundhog Day, Just walked outside and saw my shadow, It`s now official, Six more weeks of dieting :/
When you’re old, my kids will be in charge. I’m so, so sorry.
Coffee, you`re on the bench ... Alcohol suit up!!
I’m amazing in bed. I have the ability to stay there all day.
If Jesus is the reason for the season.......why is the church parking lot empty and Wal Marts is full?
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.
Time to clean the house. Good thing I took that delegation class at work and I have 2 kids. This is going to be fun
Things I do everyday: 1.Get up 2.Survive 3.Go back to bed
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
I don`t think I can call myself an adult until I can accept the fact that "dry clean only" is not a dare.
I am going to open "The Karma Cafe" There will be no menus though. You will get what you deserve!
Spent 40 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Next time I might turn it on.
I hate when reality happens outside of my head.
I sneak alcohol into work because I`m a problem solver.