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If the human race has a "signature move," its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing.
Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
I should run for political office just to see what kind of scandalous dirt they dig up. It would be nice to piece together my twenties.
My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
It is amazing how a nice pair of boobs can hide serious flaws and signs of mental illness until after you marry them!
If you put root beer in a square cup, do you get beer?……………………. (you smart people grinned didn’t you.)
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
My life is a very complicated drinking game
ALERT: Missing Unicorn...if you find it, you`re probably high
Celebrities on drugs, politicians having affairs, aliens living mail boxes....I love standing in the check out line, its better than the library....and it has food.
Not so great minds also think alike.
I haven`t seen any new episodes of Gilligan`s Island in awhile... I hope they`re OK.
Hmmmmm,,,, Turns out all this time, I’ve been using a life couch instead of a life coach.
Space heaters are the perfect housewarming gifts.
If it makes you feel better, don’t call it “Premature Ejaculation.” Call it “Speed Dating”