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They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
condoms prevent minivans
I often worry that mankind is going to start World War III soley because we enjoy trilogies.
Had a blast doing my Black Friday tradition!!!! I slept!
Last year in college football Alabama beat Arkansas, Tennessee, and Auburn. Those teams coaches all resigned. Any chance of Alabama playing agsinst the White House this year?
Things I didn`t learn in high school... how to pay bills buy a house apply for college but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
Who do you have to sleep with around here to sleep with someone around here?!
If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.
Depression is just your body`s way of saying it needs more orgasms.
LIFE always offers you a second chance,its called TOMORROW
Why are police men so strong? Because they hold up traffic.
Indecisiveness is just mental constipation.
What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Vine, and medical records.
Facebook where I am surrounded with people but still no one can see me biting my toe nails or picking my nose :-D
Life is like a burrito. If you fill it with too many things it falls apart and then you cry and they kick you out of Chipotle.