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Married sext: I’m not wearing any underwear, because you never put the f*cking laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 times.
Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
I wrote a song about a tortilla actually its more of a wrap.
Selfie... Because it`s important to realize that it`s not the photographer who is making you look ugly.
Was going to watch the presidential inauguration today, but found something more interesting on a different channel. Watched "How cow farts affect the ozone layer" on The Science channel.
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
Good news I passed my drug test today. But now my drug dealer has some explaining to do.
I`m celebrating 1 year of sobriety today ... I think it was 1989 ... Cheers!
I enjoy going to costume parties that have a theme. ..."Nude Beach" is my personal favorite.
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
A person soon learns how little they know when a child begins to ask questions.
I really want to talk to you about how I don`t want to talk to you.
Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
Yesterday I fell off a 50 foot ladder. It`s probably a good thing I was on the bottom step...