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I`m going to a wedding rehearsal this weekend. Wedding rehearsals are the only time you see someone practice making a mistake.
Dear therapist, I might actually come see you if your job title didn`t spell out “the rapist” Sincerely, not lying down.
My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying ~ don`t run into anyone you know.
Yes, I dance in my car. Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care.
I Wonder what Facebook Employees do to waste time at work ?
My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
I know I should lift weights, but those things are heavy!!
Smile. Your enemies hate it.
I`ll never forget the first time we met. Although, I will keep trying.
Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
Picking your nose doesn`t make you a bad person. .... but what you do with the booger will define you.
*pulls shirt back down* I guess I don`t understand what a flash mob actually is.
I dont think I could ever stab someone.. I barely can get the straw into a Capri Sun.
My favorite exercise is somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
Figuring out that you`ll probably never figure it out is the first step of really figuring things out.