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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don`t taste any different.
All I`m saying is, I`ve never seen my ex and Satan in the same room together.
Facebook taught me to mind everyone else`s business.
When fighting with a clown, always go for the juggler.
I just saw a man salute the Budweiser truck on the highway. LMAO
The only thing actually impossible in life is taking a picture for a group of women and having ALL of them like it.
For Christmas I just want summer...
Next time you`re in a hospital elevator, calmly ask a stranger if they know what floor you should get off at for infectious diseases.
According to the police, public masturbation is not considered a "street performance". Even if you have a hat on the ground on front of you.
The hardest thing about my juice cleanse is trying to juice Snickers
I`ve accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore
Hold on I`m about to count my money. Alright I`m done.
Wonders why there´s an ice cream truck for kids but not a frozen Margaurita truck for adults?