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I downloaded this app called "Hide & Go Seek". Ever since then I cant find my damn phone.
I think I`m gonna take a hot shower. Its like a normal shower, but with me in it.
She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach the cookies.
I`ve decided I`m not going to focus on my past anymore. So, if I owe you money, I`m sorry.
If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherf*cker a reason.
Anything is possible with the right attitude and a sledgehammer
If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to “Widowed”, it’s time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible.
Please, lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won`t spoil me!
It is a sad day when you go to all the trouble of getting a Frontal Lobotomy and no one notices.....................
Just completed my sexual harassment training and I think I`m finally ready to start harassing people.
DAMN IT!!!!! I just ripped the tag off one of my Beanie Babies! Now it`s worthless!!
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes.
Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.