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So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
When I see people jogging outside I like to drive slowly down the road behind them blasting “Eye of the Tiger” just to give them motivation.
Big shoutout to whoever decided the ? and ! should be next to each other on an iPhone. That typo hasn’t made me look insane 10,000 times.
How do they put the "do not walk on the grass" signs up?
By 5, the human child can walk and feed itself, but doesn`t yet stray from home, as it relies on parents for tablet charging and maintenance
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
’Friday’ is my second favourite word starting from the letter `F`. :)
Asking a girl what exactly she looks for in a guy is like asking her "what exactly do I have to do to get friendzoned?
I’m alone in my car. Counting it as a vacation.
The awkward moment when you’re not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up.
I don`t understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
If there`s no gravity underwater, why do mermaids need those seashell bra`s?
Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you`re doing it.
Being an adult is mostly pretending to like wine and saying "the economy" a lot.