Daily Silly Status

7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10.

Dear alcohol we had a deal where you were supposed to make me cool, sexy, charming and a great dancer........I seen a video......we need to talk.

I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.

Keychains were invented so that you can lose all of your keys at once.

Does anyone know how much water I`m supposed to add to this baby powder, to make an infant?

Why do blurry people always ask me if I’m drunk?

I`m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I`ll pop open the red and drink that.

Relationship status: I make my own sandwiches.

I can`t find my happy place this morning, mind if I goto yours

Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days..

Destiny may decide who touches your Life. Your heart may decide who touches your Soul. But…Tequila decides who touches your body

Passive aggressive has never been my thing, I prefer chasing you with a chainsaw.

Retirement plans compared .. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for recycl

It`s remarkable how much I can get done out of sheer spite.

If women kept their feelings to themselves would they explode? Guess we`ll never know.