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Didja ever get to know someone so well, that you wish you didn`t know them at all????
Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
Sometimes I whisper, "I´m on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world.
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
I just responded to a text message with: I can`t hear you, you`re breaking up.
I fake my LOLs
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
Life would be so much more interesting if we all had cartoon bubbles over our heads.
OMG, you`re huge! There`s no way you`ll fit inside me.- My clothes probably.
Every woman thinks her husband is a moron. And they’re absolutely right because smart men don’t get married.
I like to think the automatic soap dispenser is just really happy to see me.
Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet.
Next time I`m on an elevator with four or more strangers, I`m going to turn around and say, "I`m sure you`re wondering why I`ve gathered you all here."
Remember....... Its not drinking alone if you`re on Facebook ;)