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Billy Ray Cyrus made a million dollars at a playgirl photo shoot. He just started taking his clothes off and they paid him to put them back on.
I have no words to describe this day. I do however have a number of obscene gestures that would work.
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
I gave my dog a middle name today, so he knows when he`s really in trouble.
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called “Identity Theft”.
I have 500 friends and only 499 Birthday wishes on facebook! I`ll remember that when it`s YOUR birthday #405!!!
Very productive day today, turd-wise
I wonder if Batman knows that other cities have crime, too.
It`s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
Sometimes I wonder if these old men sitting on the benches in the mall waiting on their wives to finish shopping were old when they sat down!?
If there`s one thing I`ve learnt in life it`s to stay clothed during sensitive conversations.
All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips. ^^
Adding “and sh!t” at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: “I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.”
Bacon is the only exception that does not fall under the 5 second rule for dropped food.
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles