Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I am currently watching the Holy Grail of horror movies. There are 10 minutes left and the black guy is still alive.
Thank you, True Crime, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
“A body at rest tends to stay at rest” should be an acceptable excuse for missing work.
If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started.
I hate sharing popcorn with someone at the cinema and our fingers touch. Especially if I don`t know them, and they don`t know we`re sharing.
I hope to get to the point in my life where I`m not excited about finding change on the ground.
A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy`s laptop
Million dollar idea: A bathroom mirror that takes pictures.
I don`t think the lady who just shushed a baby in the library knows how babies work
Sometimes I like to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and think what it would be like to stare at other ceilings.
When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighbor’s trash so you don’t get robbed.
I`m so proud of myself, I spent all night putting my Christmas decorations up myself.. I`m now at the hospital having them removed
*sigh* the cop at the front door is never a stripper when you need it to be
If you were dating an FBI agent and you broke up, they would be your fed ex.