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When I was younger, it was wine, women & song. Now I am older, it`s beer, the old lady & TV!
Who needs dance lessons when you`ve got alcohol?!
loves infomercials, but claiming that a product promotes weight loss when combined with diet and exercise is like claiming it grants wishes when used with a leprechaun.
Like this if you’re “never drinking again.”
I think today I`ll stalk my stalker, just to shake things up a little.
I farted on my wallet. Now I have gas money
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...
I`d like to give a big shout-out to all my hard of hearing friends!
A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius.
It`s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.
Tonight I’m going to have my favorite drink. It’s called “a lot.”
Mac & Cheese doesn`t contain many vitamins, so it`s important you always eat a bunch of it.
Why do people with the most to say contribute the least?
Golf is such a strange game. You shout four, shoot six, and write down five.
There`s a time and a place for non-alcoholic beer. Never, and down the drain.