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I`m not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
I`ve actually have come to the conclusion that some of today`s youth may actually believe "laughing out loud" is actually spelled "lol"
Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
The downside of DVR is getting freaked out by tornado warnings from four days ago
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now Iām heading north to start a new life.
Do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don`t have to be there
Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
I would die if I had to stop exaggerating.
Anyone know how to get a red wine stain off a baby? asking for a friend
Be the type of gentleman that holds the door open for your girl, but smacks her ass as she walks in.
Whenever somebody said they did something "Like a Boss" I assume that they did nothing but took all the credit for it.
"I understand your logic, but let`s try to look at this more emotionally." - women
To help reduce cost, this status was typed in china.