Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Our parents always taught us NOT to write on walls... Facebook teaches us differently
It`s really ironic that I mostly use my driver`s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive.
So much to say. So not drunk enough to say it.
Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.
I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.
Truth is, it’s not a “long story”… I’m just too damn lazy to explain it.
I don`t know if I`ve got some free time, or if I just forgot what the hell I`m supposed to be doing...
How crazy is it that we used to say "three and a half inch floppy" with a straight face
A lie is just a great story that someone ruined by telling the truth.
Do you like me? Breathe for yes, lick your elbow for no.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you have tits. Simple as that
I`d bite my nails less if there wasn`t always chocolate frosting under them.
If you love someone, let them go, if they don`t come back..... Set them on fire *evil grin*
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(:
My doctor told me to eat more bacon cheeseburgers. Well, what he technically said was to eat "less pizza", but I`m pretty sure I know what he meant.