Daily Silly Status

There are dozens of different flavors of ramen noodles, but they all taste like poverty and loneliness.

What if dreams are just glimpses of alternate universes?

The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself"...and spiders. Oh, and ticks and nuclear war and getting laid off and losing your eye sight and...

The one thing you never wanna hear when your father catches you watching porn is... "Scoot over."

Congratulations! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.

Rough day! I have now completed the top 6 things off my to-do list ... Time to go get another six pack I guess.

I don`t mind being wrong, as long as nobody knows.

Today I am thankful that I don`t post what I am thankful for on Facebook, every day in November. Or ever.

i make the other half of the Oreo watch.

I think they put less beers in twelve packs these days.

That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a lightsaber just to open it.

So I wanted to publicly apologize for not doing the ice bucket challenge for everyone that nominated me. I don`t give money to charity, unless she is on stage B at 11:30.

I haven’t lived paycheck to paycheck since my last paycheck.

You know what I just realized that in school they teach you not to do what you don`t want to do yet they still give us homework and we get in trouble because we didn`t want to do it ( confused )

Admit it: you have all tried to rap in the shower..