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I`m boycotting Kix cereal because of all that kid testing.
I don`t mind people sneezing in public. It`s that "Pre-sneeze face" they make that scares the hell out of me.
Why is it that the more annoying the tune, the harder it is to get it out of your head?
Having a favorite homeless person is weird, right?
My girlfriend ended up with a broken nose today because she wouldn`t listen to me... I said,"You`re about to walk into a lamppost."
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
If you ever disappeared while hiking, I’d remain with the search party at least until it started raining.
YouTube "This video is not available in your country". where the hell am I from? NARNIA?
For lent, I`m giving up sexual innuendos but it`s hard... so hard!
Just once I want my boss to assume I`m tired in the morning because I fight crime all night, not because of all the booze I drank.
Saying "cool" also means, I don`t give a sh!t.
Has anybody seen my keys? they`re awesome.
I’m not saying I need to manscape, but when I get an erection it looks like Pinocchio has joined the Taliban.
My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?
Ever wish the choice you made and the “right thing to do” were the same thing?