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some people just need a high-five......in the face......with a chair!
Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
Spoiler alert: this milk expired five days ago
I had four E`s and LSD last night. Such an awful start to a game of scrabble!!
I`ve been having really bad headaches lately. The doctor said they were all in my head.
Bring a CD into my car that I "have to hear" and I`ll figure out a way to deploy the passenger side airbags
When people put pics of their vacation on FB I write: I saw fire trucks outside your house but I`m sure you already know, have a great time!
I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You are not stupid, I just think you have bad luck when thinking.
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you, would actually kill me
Johnny : Pull my finger Tommy : No Johnny: "Come Bro Do IT!!" Tommy : fine ... Johnny : *SNEEZE IN THE FACE*
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
I`m not getting married till Pizza Hut allows gift registry.
Sometimes I ask myself why do I stay up so late? Then I tell myself it`s none of my damn business.
I went frisbee golfing today. I didn`t get an ace, but I did hit a guy and that was just as satisfying.