Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Marco Polo must really hate sitting near a swimming pool.
If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
"We have smaller, secret pants that we wear under our normal pants..." - me explaining underwear to aliens.
This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
Someone needs to take a chain saw to your family tree.
When I say “Nevermind.” I really mean you should’ve listened the first time.
The girl on the flyer is never at the club.
"Never go to bed angry" is the worst advice ever. I haven`t slept in a week!
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
Honk if you want to see my finger.
If you don`t take 500 selfies a day, do you even love yourself?
If it wasn`t for physics and law enforcement, I`d be unstoppable.
I could spend my day outside, but I`m sure there`s plenty of porn that needs to be rated.
Putting ketchup on steak should also affect your credit score.