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You never know whats going on in your life until you’re f*cked up.
Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
I hate girls who insert the phrase "my boyfriend" into every conversation. So does my boyfriend.
liked homework better when it was called coloring.
Anyone that tells you money is the root of all evil is f*cking broke.
I was reading that it takes the average man four minutes to have sex, and he’s asleep eight minutes after that. This sounds very dangerous, because by then most men are driving home.
If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024....
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss.
yes I have a dirty mind, and yes you are in it...
Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money`s worth...Just saying.
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
CANT TOUCH THIS!! Na na na na.
I don`t make a very good first impression, but if you hang around, my forty-third one is pretty cool.
I bought a book called `How to become an expert at Origami`. So far, I`ve made 1000 paper snowballs.
has a drinking problem...I can`t afford it