Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes late at night, I dig a hole in the back yard to keep the nosey neighbor`s guessing.
They sell Harvard shirts at Target so that’s a good way to save $ 399,984.05.
I always say, "morning." Instead of, "good morning." If it were a good morning, I would still be asleep in bed instead of talking to people.
I left work in slow motion but it didn’t blow up behind me.
If its so great outside why do bugs try to get in my f*cking house?
that song on your iPod that you always skip but never delete.
When a porn actress is rude at a restaurant, there`s really nothing the staff can put in her food for revenge.
It`s so cold outside you can see your farts.
I really want to see you tonight. So could you please leave the blinds up and the curtains open?
I`d like to give a shoutout to all the people who are going through an identity crisis, you know who you are... I think.
FACT: 99.7% of guys named "Dan" are not actually "The Man".
How many Snickers are an acceptable meal replacement?
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
Got a paper cut turning the pages in my self-defense book.
Facebook should make it to where it says, `Went from being in a relationship` to `Problem solved.`