Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Smelling another person should be a choice. Just sayin’
When choosing a ring tone, always ask yourself, "How embarrassed will I be when this rings in public?"
I can’t wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups.
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
Sometimes its better to eliminate the problem rather than trying to solve it.
You can`t Febreze bullshit.
It`s not so much that I have to work that bothers me...oh wait, yes it is.
How do people dumb enough to buy $500 sunglasses make enough money to buy $500 sunglasses?
MIDDLE EAST: How can we stop ISIS? EUROPE: How can we save our economy? AMERICA: What color is this dress?!
I stopped paying my car payments to concentrate on my dream of appearing on a Repo show.
The world is full of nice guys who want naughty girls who want bad boys who want nice girls who want nice guys.
Someone stole my identity and returned it 10 minutes later.
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.