Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Kiss me I`m Irish, put a little tongue in it, I`m French too
"Slow and steady wins the race." Unless it`s one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed
Sarcasm, I put that sh!t on everything
She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.
House cleaning would go a lot faster if the spray bottles made laser gun sounds
so, on a scale of one is to seven, which letter of the alphebet is your favourite colour?
Not to brag, but I don’t need to smoke pot to get the munchies.
Roses are red, violets are blue. god made me pretty,what happened to you?
I hate those new parents who do the `baby talking`, yes I do, yes I do...
So much to do and so few alibis.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes...
In order for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead!
A homeless guy asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.