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Why would I ever pay to go to a NASCAR event when I could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free?
It`s not so much that I wanted to drink the whole bottle of wine, I just couldn`t figure out how to get the cork back in it.
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
WARNING!! I have character defects and I`m not afraid to use them.
I don’t like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
Did you ever think that one day you would be this addicted to reading and writing?
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
"I have no idea. Why don`t you just Google it?" —My answer to just about every question I`m ever asked
You can`t make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them & hope they panic & give in.
sex is like a joke, some get it some don`t.....
If you have a mirror handy, kindly gaze into it and you will find your problem
It`s like the people in this restroom don`t even want my help unbuttoning their pants. STOP RUNNING AWAY I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU
Statistically: 1 in 7 dwarfs are grumpy
There are plenty of fish in the sea ...That`s cool and all....but I`m a human.
The best time to re evaluate your life is when you find your self awake at 3 am reluctantly nodding yes to the questions being asked at the beginning of an infomercial