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Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious!
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$
Just woke up next to my bed. Not sure if I fell out or didn`t quite make it in.
"Give me your finest meal, money is of no concern." ~ Me at McDonald`s on pay day.
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
Smile, it confuses people. ;)
Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.
i feel naked without my mobile !
I was going to LIKE and compliment your FB pic, but I`m not a good liar.
You know you`re poor when you sneak into Sam`s Club with some random family just to eat samples for lunch. Yay... Christmas
After 6 years, is it still all Bush`s fault or has it been reduced to "Unfortunate circumstances under no one`s control"?..............
Some mornings it`s best to just fill the sink with coffee, dunk your head in it, and suck.
I`m at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I`m usually fine with going home.
I can’t tell if I’m hungry, but better eat just in case.
If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away.