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You wouldn`t believe all the cool stuff I find when I`m under my bed playing.
Had a blast doing my Black Friday tradition!!!! I slept!
“Until death do us part” means we’re all single in heaven, right?
People who get offended on the internet are the same people that take mini golf seriously.
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
Can we all just agree to start spelling it "Wensday"?
Billion dollar idea: A phone that charges using body fat!
I was planning on doing something today, but I haven`t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
Okay, I am getting really irritated. This is the 5th ATM I`ve been to today that`s had "insufficient funds".
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
I don`t have a drinking problem ... I`m just really thirsty.
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
Pro tip: “Hold my drink” is not a proper response to “License and registration, please.” … apparently.
I’m on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people.
Do a little dance, make a little love, pay child support.