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This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.
I`m pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.
I`m glad the Dentist calls me the day before to remind me to cancel my appointment.
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the "For External Use Only" warning labels.
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
Mary had a little lamb,,the midwife fainted
I am as lazy as the guy who designed the Japanses Flag
Had another daydream where I`m doing the mexican hat dance and CIA guys watching me from satellites are dancing along in their control room
They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
When a guy says "I`m Fine" what he is really trying to say is that he is fine.
You’re one of those women that my mom warned me about…Here’s my number.
We think therefore we must be, but are we?
I’m the type of person who looks at the menu for five minutes but ends up ordering the same exact thing every time.
The squirrels must be gathering nuts. Three of my neighbors have disappeared.
BREAKING NEWS: Baby found in the middle of the Meteorite crash site,,, he is miraculously unharmed... Wrapped in what seems to be a red cape.