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"I woke up with morning wood. She woke up with morning wouldn`t."
There should be a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
I wish I could write `` I Miss You `` on a rock and throw it at your face, so you can know how much it HURTS to miss you
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
People complain about auto-correct but it is helpful 99% of the titties.
I would rather lie there and accept death than try to get out of a hammock while anyone is watching me.
If your buttcrack is showing out of your pants. I will drop change in it and make a wish.
Why isn’t the default for online shopping “view all”? Who likes to skip through 20 pages of only 12 items…
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
I eat boiled eggs, cabbage, and baked beans before the in-laws visit. They never stay long.
Some people live life in the fast lane. You’re in oncoming traffic.
Nothing says " My divorce didn`t go as planned " quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars
I saw a guy walking 4 dogs this morning and thought, Wow!.. That guy must be really blind.