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Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I break wind in my sleep.
I cant remember the last time i forgot something
People that walk behind cars get exhausted
Note to self: Next time, don`t use "continue" as the Safe Word.
I bet Snowmen think it`s weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin.
Weird that we don`t see more pants on fire
Welcome to our nearly empty restaurant. Please follow me to our worst table.
just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
If a cannibal ate a comedian, that would lead to some funny sh!t.
Actually, when I went to New Orleans, I blacked out too.
All units be on the lookout, suspect is armed with hunky shoulders, soft eyes and dreamboat hair. I don`t even remember what he did anymore.
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what Iām doing.
If you kept one of those jars where I`d have to put in a quarter every time I swore, you would be a billionaire by the end of the week.