Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
Hi, it’s me. I can’t get to the phone right now, even though it’s right here in my hand.
Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.
Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.
Let`s start by taking some notes today. I`m fabulous bitches! Write that down.
Proof that getting kicked in the nuts is worse than giving birth. Girls often say, yeah I`d have another baby. Guys never ask to get kicked in the nuts again.
I really like ceilings,.. I guess you could call me a ceiling fan.
Actions speak louder than passive aggressive Facebook statuses.
Most difficult job ever.......Working in a bubble wrap factory......Imagine the self control needed.
I just devoured a six inch from Subway and I`m still not satisfied. I get it ladies. I get it.
I try to always be the bigger person by hanging out with a lot of short people.
Dear Diary, the ugly woman at the bank cut in front of me today." Woman: "EXCUSE ME?!" [whispers]"Dear Diary, I think she can hear me."
Every Girls Night Out has at least one crier.
Yesterday I saw something that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it!
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. I hope they let me back in Walmart.