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I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
There are a few people I`d like to go to bed with but I can`t think of a single person I`d like to wake up with.
Man, those 2013 Mayan Calenders are REALLY hard to find...
I`m just a guy struggling to find the appropriate level of inappropriateness for every social interaction I`m unlucky enough to be a part of
I don’t think we can get through adulthood without a good sense of humor and a strong middle finger.
I liked you a lot more before I met you.
Burned almost a thousand calories with the elliptical machine today. Moved it into the basement, that thing is heavy!
I`m giving up procrastination for Lent ... starting tomorrow.
CANT TOUCH THIS!! Na na na na.
Thanks for the free weekend offer E-Harmony but my wife said I can`t use it.
We`re all just nudists in disguise...
If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.
I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say "Don`t get smart with me!"
Who can really hear themselves thinking?