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Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing’s different.
Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
In an alternate universe cats feed humans Lean Cuisines while muttering "I don`t know how you eat that sh!t".
Stretch marks? You mean sick a$$ lightning tattoos.
It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Hello, 911? Hi, I was just wondering: is it stop, drop, THEN roll? Cause my friend--STOP SCREAMING, I`M ASKING THEM"
People say love is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.
10 years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
My date just saved me tons of money by simply saying, "no, I don`t want to be your valentine and stop texting me!"
There are 364 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable.
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
My girlfriend is now mad at me because I didn’t know why she was mad at me.
Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying
roses are red.... my name is dave...this poem makes no sense.... microwave...