Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I got this new calorie counting app ... Every day I go for a new high score ... Winning!
Divorce is expensive because its worth it.
"A vodka, please" "Sir, this is McDonald`s" "OK, a McVodka, please and super size it."
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting that you do.
joined a nudist colony last week ... the first few days were the hardest!
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?
If you`ve never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you`ve never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.
Bran flakes. Helping pants fit better for over 100 years.
Friends are like slinkys, they are twisted as heck but you can`t help but laugh when they fall down the stairs.
Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked.
You find it offensive?... I find it funny.... That`s why I`m happier than you
If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away.
I googled "cigarette lighter" and got 150000 matches.