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I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn`t reach very far.
HR called me in today and told me I have a bad attitude. So they`re transferring me over to IT and giving me a raise.
Never trust anyone who smiles this early in the morning.
Tonight, I`m bringing Sexy back! I just hope I don`t need a receipt...
I love water. Especially when it`s frozen and surrounded by vodka.
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
My idiot future husband is out there somewhere pushing a pull door. I just know it.
Figure it out people. It’s a 4-way stop sign not a woman.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
Dear Tequila, you were supposed to make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
So far the "couch" part of couch-to-5k is easily my favorite.
More people would drink responsibly if there was a brand of beer named Responsibly.
Dyslexics are teople poo.. :|
I don`t even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullsh!t.