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I got this new calorie counting app ... Every day I go for a new high score ... Winning!
Divorce is expensive because its worth it.
"A vodka, please" "Sir, this is McDonald`s" "OK, a McVodka, please and super size it."
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting that you do.
joined a nudist colony last week ... the first few days were the hardest!
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?
If you`ve never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you`ve never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.
Bran flakes. Helping pants fit better for over 100 years.
Friends are like slinkys, they are twisted as heck but you can`t help but laugh when they fall down the stairs.
Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked.
You find it offensive?... I find it funny.... That`s why I`m happier than you
If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away.
I googled "cigarette lighter" and got 150000 matches.