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Yes, your opinion matters ... But not to me.
My tombstone will read I should have googled it first.
There`s a certain age where you can no longer use the term "Good girl gone bad". It`s more like "Her old a$$ should know better"
I went to McDonald`s to grab my boys a couple of Happy meals. The guy serving me says "Would you like a Boy Toy"? I was like, "listen hear you little sh!t, you couldn`t handle me if you tried"!! What is this world coming too... :))
Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body!
I went to McDonalds, put 5 dollars on the counter and said "Surprise me". Because I never get what I ask for anyway!
Very excited to announce I`m on the market and actively looking for someone new to make me miserable
My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he`s attempting to get his hoodie back. He`s in for one hell of a life lesson.
My job description does not include farting on everyone else`s office chairs but I still do it because INITIATIVE.
My life is a very complicated drinking game
Liam Neeson trained Batman, Obi Wan, and Darth Vader. He is both Aslan and Zeus…and he punches wolves. Why would you kidnap his family?
Secret Web Cam Test: Please nod your head yes if you can read this.
Curling irons have a warning tag that says “For External Use Only.” Which of you sick mofos made that necessary?
It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly