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Whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks..I`m in public.
After visiting the gov`t healthcare site, I don`t know why I was so worried about their ability to spy on me...
That amazing moment when you smack the remote and it actually works!
should probably get my daily dose of calcium.. white russians it is
“How are feeling today?” is a polite reminder that you were a mess the night before.
My house is not messy. Those are just obstacles I`ve put in place for burglars.
To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I`m sorry that I asked if he was a rescue.
Make BIG mistakes in life. Those people are remembered forever. On Youtube.
I mean, I don`t even call it a hangover anymore. It`s just morning.
If you can`t handle me at my worst, then that sucks because that`s all there is to me.
There are two types of people I can`t stand. Nosy people, and people who won`t tell me what`s going on.
My dad use to take me to the circus to see the clowns, freakshows and the bearded lady. Now... I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.
Can I just drop it like it’s luke warm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. I hope they let me back in Walmart.