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I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said "Die, Decepticons! Die!"
"This is the ride that killed Jimmy." - me in a long line, loudly, at amusement parks
Yes we`re friends on facebook but that`s where it ends, stop trying to talk to me in real life... mom
Every time you get dressed remember that, if you die, that`s your ghost outfit forever.
Do these `Skinny Jeans` make my blood circulation look more than purple or less than purple?
I need a new refrigerator ... There`s no food in mine.
DRINK BEER SAVE WATER..www.godrunk.com
All my life I`ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
Thoughts of you make my demons nervous.
I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads.
Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.
Patiently waiting for the Prozac to kick in so I can start my day....Ok, Maybe NOT patiently!
Good thing I`m judged on my actions and not my thoughts.
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?