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If a woman shaves her legs for you, at least every other day, in the Winter time, it`s Love.
Doctor told me I need glasses. So I`m having several tonite.
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
Is it just me or does chocolate taste even better late at night, hence the the last four letters of the word chocoLATE?!
Sometimes I wonder how people who don`t have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room.
Nothing says God is forgiving like hell.
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
I`m at the age where an "all-nighter" just means I didn`t have to get up to pee.
When people ask how my childhood was, I say "Pretty good, so far."
I`m awkward when people compliment me. "Nice hair" "Thanks, I grew it myself"
Spoiler alert: Your `97 Nissan Sentra doesn`t need one.
In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY ... My best time so far is 7 min.
take it easy and if it is easy take it home
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody`s there to appreciate it.
My Wife does this cute thing where she says that "actions speak louder than words" and then gets pissed at me for just nodding.