Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you can`t handle me at my worst...I don`t blame you, neither can I.
Today I think I`ll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
I`m a bitch ... What`s your excuse?
I tried yoga once, but we called it Twister
If it`s really the thought that counts, we`re ALL screwed. LOL ;)
My neighbor was singing in the shower again this morning. I didn’t mind though as I can`t hear anything through the telescope.
Your a$$ must be jealous everytime sh*t comes out of your mouth.
I burn bridges to keep those crazy bastards from following me.
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs.
Is anyone going to tell America`s funniest videos about YouTube?
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
Your parents taught you to wash your hands after you pee. My parents taught me not to pee on my hands in the first place.
Babies are really cute until you meet one that`s not a picture.
Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I`m the proud owner of aisle 7.
I want to live in a world where it’s never too late for breakfast food and never too early for pizza.