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Don`t sweat the small stuff. Don`t sweat the medium or large stuff either. Stop perspiring on everything. Take your sweaty a$$ elsewhere.
I wouldn`t want lesbian parents. Not because I`m homophobic. I just don`t want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."
You’d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their ass in the mirror they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
Same sex marriage? Heck, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriage
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
Apparently saying, "You mad, bro?" is frowned upon if you work in customer service.
Now that I think about it... Facebook became popular ever since I made an account.
Relatives comin` ~ hide all awesome stuff!
Im out like a fat kid playing dodge ball
They say you are what you eat. I don`t remember eating a sexy beast this morning...
What do you mean being awesome for another year isn`t a resolution?
These ‘energy saving` light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.
Clearly if you have to blame yourself, you`re not hanging out with enough people.