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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m a really nice guy before you get to know me.
I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
Does any one know how to lower the difficulty settings on tinder?
Here`s $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
At work, sometimes I secretly brew decaf coffee in the normal pot so that everyone else works at my pace.
May be time to get in shape. Halfway up this flight of stairs and I`m considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone’s ok with that.
The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself"...and spiders. Oh, and ticks and nuclear war and getting laid off and losing your eye sight and...
Can`t believe people still say "pot" it`s not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
I will be responsible for my actions....when my actions become more responsible.
I took part in the sun tan world championships this weekend. I got bronze.
Ummm,, Can we just admit we may have taken this anybody can grow up to be President thing a bit too far.
I`m hoping to avoid a situation where I have to dance to save my own life.
Nothing`s more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in CVS was staring at me.