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Jimmy is short for James? This is where I think English is stupid. They have the same number of letters. Do they even know what short means?
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
I party like a Rockstar. A very poor Rockstar who isn`t in a band anymore.
I just leased a 2013 lamborghini, no payments till January. Those f@kin Mayans better be right.
I think pet shops should give a free laser pointer with every Cat purchase.
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn’t seem so bad now.
I was raised on the streets is more manly than saying I grew up watching Sesame Street.
Can you imagine the reaction 20 years ago if you showed people a photo album filled with pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let’s not rush into things.
My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
facebooked yo mama!!!
You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!
I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket.
I danced like no one was watching but someone was watching, thought I was having a seizure and called an ambulance
OK so i have an idea ............... wait why are you all running away?