Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Never look back. That’s where all the monsters are.
I always stop to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porno starts off!
One day, I`m gonna wait for the Wal-Mart greeter to go on a bathroom break, step in their place, and begin welcoming everyone to K-mart.
Pringles cans should have a twist mechanism like stick deodorant.
One does not simply log out of their friend`s facebook account without making them gay.
Cool thing about winter is after grocery shopping your car can double as your refrigerator.
I like to say, "Well, enough with the small talk" before anyone has a chance to speak.
Siri, where are my pants?
Christmas time always make me blue :-(( and then red, then green, then oh wow.. presents...
I dont care how you live your life, so just let me live mine. Yeah whatever.
Every pair of panties can be a thong if your a$$ is big enough.
Black Friday at my house consist of pants 100% off
This spider just got away from me because I made the classic villain mistake of telling him my whole evil plan before killing him.
So who the hell ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?
I miss the old days when I could say I wasn`t around and you couldn`t check Facebook or twitter to see if I was lying