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I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!
What can I do today that is only going to happen once in a blue moon?
Sometimes I think I`m a relatively smart person. Other times I put my shoes on before my pants and realize who I really am.
On your birthday I think the Airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
Life in the fast lane ? Heck, I live in oncoming traffic.
For the record, giving someone the creeps for Christmas is technically not a gift.
i forgot how to put a status ... can anyone help me ?
Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold.
The way my dog acts, you`d think his entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That`s it. No more reading!
Currently training for when they inevitably make drinking an Olympic sport.
Releasing a long silent fart as I walk through first class on the way to my economy seat is definitely my favorite part of boarding an aircraft.
Starbucks isn`t really that expensive compared to how much Victoria`s Secret charges per cup.