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Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
Karaoke bars combine two of the worlds greatest evils—people who shouldn`t drink with people who shouldn`t sing.
I’m glad you’re learning to laugh at yourself. That was kind of getting awkward for the rest of us.
It`s crazy that your brain can calculate where to put your hand to catch a 98 mph fastball... But won`t keep your mouth shut when a woman is angry
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
A comprehensive list of the things women have taught me: 1) I`m wrong.
Is it wrong to swallow my multi-vitamin with a beer?
This morning I got in touch with my inner self. And that`s also the last time I`ll buy cheap toilet paper...
You can call someone who makes prosthetics a professional body builder
Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government
Why don`t family members send me money for my birthday anymore? I need it now more than when I was 7
I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say "Don`t get smart with me!"
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!
Money isn´t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!