Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What this country needs is more unemployed politicians...
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
You know you watch too much porn when you go to a hospital expecting a threesome.
I fell off the wagon because I was too drunk to keep my balance
"Being naked isn`t fun" - said no one ever.
My favorite part of country music is the part where I change the station.
Nobody on television curses more than the Roadrunner.
I started to compliment my neighbors on their new wallpaper but then I realized they can`t hear me through binoculars.
I have this empty feeling inside of me. Wait, there`s my drink.
According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
If a man says you`re ugly, he`s being mean. If a woman says you`re ugly, she`s jealous. If a little kid says you`re ugly, then you`re ugly.
I`m alone in my car ... Counting it as a vacation.
Wanted a nap but had trouble getting to sleep. So I put on Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. Now 13 hours later, I`m well rested.
I`d save a lot more money on car insurance if they quit spending billions on advertising.
The real plot hole in Cinderella was that if everything disappeared at midnight why did the shoe stay?