Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`d gladly eat raw eggs before my workout provided those eggs were inside brownie batter.
My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think.
If anybody tells you you’re putting too much Parmesan on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don’t need that negativity in your life.
My doctor is getting really tired of me asking if the stuff I see in commercials is right for me.
My favorite beer is the next one.
I wonder what Facebook employees do at work to waste time.
Sometimes I get in this weird mood where I find everyone annoying. But it only happens when I’m awake.
You will never find the right person, if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
Congratulations! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
Last night I was drunk and asked a cat if it could talk. It said, “Me? How?”
Hi everyone! Welcome to AA. This is a "judgment free" zone...unless we`re talking about Janice who ate all the cookies last week.
loves poetry, long walks and poking dead things with a stick.
I`m under the weather today, also so is everyone else, that`s how weather works.
Fun Prank: Put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me.
"you failed just as much as your dads condom."