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I`ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
Just think about all the stuff you aren`t thinking about.
You offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Exercise makes you look better naked. Alcohol does the same, you pick..
I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related.
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
I`m hoping to avoid a situation where I have to dance to save my own life.
The self-driving car should have an "I`m Feeling Lucky" button that drives you to a random location.
I had my Crayola guy re-run the numbers,,, and there`s only 36 shades of grey
Some of the best memories I have are of times right before the cops showed up.
Robots can do anything we set their mind to
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at a floor and think, "I`d so tap that."
Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for 2.
I hope when Bruce Willis dies, it`s from a Viagra overdose. That way the headline can read "Bruce Willis Died Hard".