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Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
I can`t wait for the day when my kids are old enough that I can drink with them and not because of them.
Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
Legally,It´s questionable. Morally,It´s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.
My favorite part of country music is the part where I change the station.
Sometimes the only reason I leave my house is so when someone asks about my day I don’t have to say “Netflix and avoiding responsibilities"
Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer ... That`s all.
Unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade`s gonna suck!
"Are you even listening to me?" is a weird way for my girlfriend to start a conversation.
*Hears a joke about a chocolate bar* *Snickers*
If your bf/gf tries to start a fight with you just say, "Please. Not during Toyotathon."
Just signed a $320,000, nine year deal with my therapist.
Mosquito`s and parking inspectors must be from the same family...