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A Lion would never cheat on his wife.. but a Tiger wood.
The naughty me makes the nice me giggle.
If you watch Intervention backwards, it`s about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion.
Been waiting at the pub for my wife to pick me up for hours now. How long does it take to have a baby, for Christs sake.
Just because I`m awake doesn`t mean I`m ready to do things
Nuclear physicists can be lots of fun. They`re often referred to as the half life of any party.
Iām not a biologist but Iām pretty sure the difference between a moth and a butterfly is that a moth is really ugly.
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice!
Guys I can`t be leave I`m sharing this with you, but I saw my self on TV. After I turned it off.
The statement `Hey! Calm down!` has a zero to no success rate of getting someone to calm down
Before telling me to listen to my heart you may want to check that it isn`t telling me to kick you in the shin!
If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that`s still a sports injury, right?
It seems like the āLā in my luck has been replaced with an āFā.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Fun thing to do #48: Spice up your food delivery order by ending the call with "And NO cops!"