Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
Seems like you could save a lot of time if you just paired The Bachelor with The Bachelorette.
really vry funny
I hide from people too, so I get it bigfoot, I get it.
It`s impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone.
I asked my mom for money and she said "Does it look like I am made of money?" I said "Well isn`t that what M.O.M stands for?"
Still don`t understand why you can`t end a company-wide email with, `Later b*tches.`
My New Years resolution is always don’t die. So far so good.
Today is the first day of the rest of my Vodka.
Apparently a teen in Brazil died after jerking off 42 times without stopping. So incase you were wondering. ...41, guys,...that`s the limit.
I never mix business with pleasure, ......unless i call an escort.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the boss snuck out early, so I left too.
We have cars that park themselves but I still gotta wave my hand 15 times before a paper towel comes out the dispenser
A cross-eyed teacher has no control over her pupils
tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes