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If I meet you for a date and you don`t look anything like your pic, you`re buying drinks for me until you do.
Someone told me that I seemed a little more classy than usual. The only thing I can think of is they somehow found out I used a Target bag instead of one from Wal Mart to line my bathroom`s wastepaper basket.
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant.
I can`t believe it`s been a year since I didn`t become a better person....
Reverse Psychology: DO not STALK MY FB PAGE. YOU ARE not OBSESSED WITH ME...
Why do bras and batteries come in the same sizes?
never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
Accidentally took a women`s multi vitamin & I`ve been trying to get dressed for the past 3 hours, but everything is making me look fat.
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
You know what`s beautiful? Read the first word again.
“I don’t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others’ lives sounds fun!” – How I got out of jury duty
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Bathroom: 47 pictures.
Just think how cold and snowy it would be WITHOUT global warming!
I`ll CUT you...!!!!!!!!...... A slice of pizza, cause I`m a sharer:)
You seem awesome. I can`t wait to find out what I hate about you.