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We are so fortunate not to live in China, they have to hide their posts in cookies.
Hey, somebody get ready to wake up the guy in Green Day.
If it weren’t for law enforcement and physics, I would be unstoppable.
I can`t wait for a empty Christmas wrapping paper tube to bonk someone over the head with!
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it…
Reasons to get out of bed: None.
*Spoiler Alert*--- Siamese cats are just one cat ... not two cats in one.
How come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie
Her: I love it when we finish each other`s Him: pancakes
My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I`m thinking about getting her a treadmill.
heyy lol
I dont even bother filling out the "From" field on gift tags during xmas. One look at the wrap job, and its VERY obvious.
Do girls that make duck faces in pictures walk in a V formation at the mall?
Sex, drugs and candy crush all have one thing in common. It`s only an addiction if you start paying for it.