Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There are no bad pictures. That`s just how your face looks sometimes.
So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized
Why I stay slim? I once was forced to pay for two plane tickets, one for a person who wasn`t travelling with me. That`s why.
A lot of people do not realize that the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
How do they even grow boneless chicken`s?
The right man will love you unconditionally, will be loyal, and will always be happy to see you. ... Oh wait, That`s my dog. My dog does that.
I was sitting in traffic the other day. That’s probably why I got run over.
I’m considering becoming a mind reader ... What are your thoughts?
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
Don`t trust anyone that orders a Medium Pizza....
*during sex,I suddenly stop moving* Her: What are you doing? Me: SHHHHH It`s ok...I saw this on Pornhub, It`s called Buffering!
If you emphasize the ‘po’ in police they’re probably already after you.
If you’re keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you’re losing.
It’s a holiday. You know what that means… Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.