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I can`t tell them apart, was that Milli or Vanilli doing the sign language at Madela`s funeral?
If someone is jogging at 7am on a Sunday - it`s because they`ve just killed someone right?
If someone doesn’t stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it’s totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by.
Don`t be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem.
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let`s try to leave better kids for our planet.
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children, don’t know very much about children.
The Four Seasons, by Facebook: Spring: LOOK FLOWERS! Summer: LOOK AT MY DASHBOARD TEMP! Fall: LOOK LEAVES! Winter: MORE DASHBOARD PICS!
I always reply to my wife’s texts with :0))) I’m not being friendly, I’m discretely letting the fat bitch know how many chins she has.
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
I love all religions. They bring holidays .
"That looks interesting. I think I`ll eat it." - Sharks and Toddlers
People would believe everything I say.. if it wasn`t for everything I say.
It`s scientifically proven that stress is caused by giving a f*ck.
Chip clips are for quitters.