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Sadly, I don`t think anyone has Wang Chunged once tonight... :(
I`m watching a show about surviving in the wild in case I ever decide to log off and go outside.
you know what sucks about being a "chubby guy"....when your girlfriend wants to play with YOUR boobs :)
I got a lot more sleep back when phones were only used for calling people.
Cheers, to judging people who spell words wrong in their statuses.
My Ex updated her status to "standing on the edge of a cliff" So I "poked" her!
Girls with tattoos on your tits, Why? We`re already looking at them.
I was going to do a time travelling joke but you guys didn`t like it.
Some moments you remember all your life. Reading this, unfortunately, is not one of those moments.
My buddy asked me the other night if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him that I`m married now and thats were I sleep...
Some people are just pure evil...I should know because I`m one of them.
Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name "fire place"
If you catch a homeless couple having sex is it rude to tell them to "get a room"?
Carrots may be good for your eyes, but alcohol will double your vision.