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Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
Thank you, True Crime, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
Your car took up two spaces, I tried to move it over with my key.
I give 2 star movies 5 stars on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well.
Saying "I`m offended" is basically telling the world you can`t control your own emotions so everyone else should do it for you.
Why is it called when animals attack? It should be called when retarded people go near dangerous animals.
If you catch me in the morning in a yoga position... more than likely I passed out drunk that way.
You know it`s way past your bed time when the 1-800-dial-a-hoe commercials come on.
Sometimes you can just tell it`s going to be a "Does not play well with others" kind of day.
When I`m really bored at work I like to write "I`m watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.
Like a stoned man once said, I can`t remember.
If I was a waiter.. I would plant fake engagement rings in every girl`s champagne glass, just to see their boyfriends panic.
Haters can hate all they want... they don`t affect my money.
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge ... Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?