Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What`s it called when you always have a sweet tooth, but it`s only for booze?
I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I`m down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
Whenever I see someone in a Smart Car, I expect to see a kid with a remote control nearby.
I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
Meditation never worked for me, so I tried something even better..."Beditation"! You lay down close your eyes and you wake up an hour and a half later!
Eventually, some poor astronaut is going to crash into all that Star Wars writing
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I will kill you."
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.
times new roman walks into a bar. "sorry, we don`t serve your type."
I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks.So if you`re swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don`t know how much I want. They don`t know my life. They don`t know what I`ve been through.
As I was signing into my email account instead of yahoo.com I typed hayoo.com...nope, it wasn`t right but I got to thinking it would be quite appropriate, afterall, we`re trying to get someone`s attention, right?
I have no super powers. I`m guessing I`m the villain.
"Sarcasm is a body`s natural defense against stupid."
Honking your horn is fun but rolling down your window and screaming “honk” at people is just way more satisfying.