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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
If I was a mortician I`d tie the shoe laces of dead people together, so if there ever was a zombie apocalypse it would be hilarious.
You can tell a lot about a womans mood by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she`s probably angry.
It`s been few days since I heard from the voices in my head, I think it`s the calm before the storm. Some big sh!t is gonna go down!!
My doctor said I`m healthy enough for sexual activity ... I`m just not attractive enough.
In paintball, you should be allowed to use a paintbrush as a knife.
I`m at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for
Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
If a picture is worth a thousand words then why does everyone only buy Playboy magazines for the articles?
One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
I wish people`s voices actually sounded the way they do when their spouse or partner imitates them during an argument.
If my grandmother were alive today, I`m pretty sure she`d still have her blinker on.
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.
Dear whoever ate my fries while i was in the ball pit at McDonald`s... grow up!!
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about